Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
