drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
