Are we in a gay sports bar?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
