i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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