Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dating After Heartbreak
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She needs sedatives and a leash
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
So is that a yes?