I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize