Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
the liver wants what the liver wants
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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