i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
