Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
