Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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