Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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