i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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