as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You ate ashes out of my bong
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize