Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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