How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
