Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
