Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
