Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
