I wannas sexs uuuuu
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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