i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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