I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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