oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
