Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I know her cup size but not her name....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
