He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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