My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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