I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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