If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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