Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
