I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My breasts were aching with rage.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
