yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
