Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame

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  (732): my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame http://tfl.nu/4c25
  Replies (16) Good night (705) Bad night (1786)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip

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  (702): Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip http://tfl.nu/lsox
  Replies (10) Good night (3262) Bad night (915)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class

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  (609): Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class http://tfl.nu/440m
  Replies (29) Good night (10298) Bad night (1222)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.

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  (410): I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve. http://tfl.nu/3z74
  Replies (75) Good night (4947) Bad night (1237)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about

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  (330): apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about http://tfl.nu/0nal
  Replies (12) Good night (5613) Bad night (1422)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk

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  (480): im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk http://tfl.nu/jram
  Replies (6) Good night (5245) Bad night (844)
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  (716): View more from New York

  her body is proportioned like a family guy character

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  (716): her body is proportioned like a family guy character http://tfl.nu/ptef
  Replies (15) Good night (1588) Bad night (4285)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  There's always time for handjobs

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  (573): There's always time for handjobs http://tfl.nu/m1ol
  Replies (13) Good night (2743) Bad night (797)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue

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  (859): I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue http://tfl.nu/ia6b
  Replies (18) Good night (4349) Bad night (2154)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.

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  (204): You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/qhl9
  Replies (3) Good night (1749) Bad night (1037)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza

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  (908): Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza http://tfl.nu/tg8r
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (370)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.

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  (226): We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose. http://tfl.nu/xde0
  Replies (5) Good night (782) Bad night (434)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented

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  (386): idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented http://tfl.nu/pmym
  Replies (7) Good night (394) Bad night (593)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.

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  (504): He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes. http://tfl.nu/za97
  Replies (1) Good night (420) Bad night (238)
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  (530): View more from California

  Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer

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  (530): Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer http://tfl.nu/g1z6
  Replies (2) Good night (325) Bad night (130)

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