Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
