One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
