At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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