I think I died a long time ago.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
