Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
