My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize