Just cropdusted the office
the day after is always just damage control
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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