nut hugger
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
