I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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