You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
