We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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