He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
