This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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