Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
