Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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