I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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