Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
