I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
