It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
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As long as you're not dating white guys again.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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