He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
