if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
