Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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