I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize