brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
