i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
