And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Success! We fucked roommates!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
