too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
