Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
