Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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